Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
