you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
