If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
