Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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