I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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