we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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