so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
