ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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