shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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