I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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