just come out here and I will go home with you...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
