I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
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Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
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I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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