The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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