Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
