Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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