After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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