just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
