apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i will never coherently bang her
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
