My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
