yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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