Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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