She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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