He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think a kid would responsible me up
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
