I'm going to jail i love you
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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