I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So vagazzling was a success
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
