did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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