So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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