ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
