ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
