note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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