So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
