And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
