I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
