You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize