some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
