On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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