He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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