For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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