I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
