yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
