Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
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Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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