He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
