you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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