everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
