Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize