so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
