beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
is wine microwaveable?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
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