O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
