He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Do you still have your period?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
