This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize