my phone cant type all the emotion im having
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
