I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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