Yo dont text me then not text me
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
