My nipple is on Facebook.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
