You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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