He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Pooping to opera.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
