p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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