just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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