wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
